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Sunday, September 1, 2013

When I Hurt...


This morning I caught my breath...it has been a year since Daniel and I made our trip to Trinidad,  CA to be with Thomas & Lisa (my oldest son and girlfriend).  The long weekend was perfect in every way... even Daniel catching poison oak was a blessing because it got him into the doctors office. While at the appointment Daniel asked the doctor about a lump he felt on the side of his neck.  Most of you know the rest of the story...(you can read it here)
A year has passed and Daniel is doing wonderful for which I am very grateful. Nowadays I'm surprised that whenever I talk about it I begin to cry. During the year of turmoil I held my emotions in check (most days).  I wouldn't dare give thought to the idea he wouldn't beat cancer!

Why am I telling you this? Usually I share sketchbook pages that reflect joy, travel,  adventure, and all around happy experiences. Rarely do I share pages of when I'm at my lowest.  For some reason I feel compelled to share my experience of how I process emotions in my sketch journals. Does somebody need to read this today or is it part of my healing process to let it go? I don't know the answer to that question.  I simply feel I am called to do so.

On my page, I AM SO TIRED OF BAD NEWS! I write that along with Daniel my dad's cancer has returned. It's been nine months since I wrote this page. Today he is being treated at the City of Hope and he's not doing very good. My heart aches to see him so sick. I save all his phone messages, little notes... I want to treasure each and every minute with him. Please keep him in prayer. He's name is Wes.

On the page OUCH! I was raw with emotion and wrote some pretty strong words... I needed to get out. When I write something like this I'm conscious that these books will be around after I'm gone.  I don't want my words to hurt somebody I love that is why I'll use a water soluble pen. When I am ready I use a wet brush and smear the words.


We all need a safe place to express ourselves without fear or concern of what others may think. I hope
♥♥♥Me and my Dad ♥♥♥
through sharing these pages I've opened your mind to ways of healing through art and words.

Happy Sketching!
Brenda